Hello, hello, hello! I’m just drinking a few beers and watching my favorite porn videos that I’ve saved on my laptop and listening to the local 24/7 sports show on the radio. I lay back on the sofa with two pillows under my weary head and I put in my ear buds when it looks like the women are going to have an orgasm. Man are they loud. Unfortunately, I haven’t fucked a woman in a long time. But there was one girlfriend who was really loud. I guess she was just letting me know I was doing a great job. Her name was Debbie. I remember her last name too but I don’t want someone harassing her. She’s probably married with a couple of kids or she’s divorced or she’s dead. One of my favorite porn videos is a woman who has to be around 50 getting gangbanged by ten guys. She’s recently divorced. Good for her. It’s a normal Saturday after I get my money on the first and third day of every month.
Anyway, I’m on the job. Looking forward to karaoke at Sonny’s Tavern tomorrow night. I’ve been doing my deep breathing, flexibility and stretching exercises religiously. Have to set my clock back one hour tonight.
Hail to Pitt!
This is Guy Hogan reporting for the Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette. All photos used for this blog post were sampled from Egoallstars.
PS And I’m listening to the songs I plan to sing tomorrow night at Sonny’s over and over and over again on YouTube.