Hello, hello, hello, all you rock ‘n’ rollers! Well, it’s karaoke tomorrow night at Nico’s in Little Italy and I plan to be there with bells on. I’ve had a good week of training: deep breathing and stretching exercises, listening to The Doors on YouTube and mouthing the words to see what muscles I need to use to hit the notes (I don’t actually sing) and throwing and catching the mike (sometimes without looking at the mike-a blind throw and catch) of my old PA system. It’s like training for a marathon. I even cut back on how much I eat as I get closer to karaoke because food makes me feel sluggish.
Yes, dear reader, it’s karaoke madness and I got it bad…
Speaking of food, my Ramen Noodles diet is working out just fine. It’s so convenient. I’ve added pre-boiled potatoes to the mix. Then when I’m ready for a meal I boil a regular coffee cup of water, add the seasoning from a Ramen Noodles package. Drop in a chunk of potato. Add some diced green peppers or carrots or both and maybe a chunk of pre-cooked meat (chicken or canned fish) if I’m not eating vegetarian and half of the noodles. The noodles really add very little nutrition to the meal. Just look on the package. Sometimes I throw the noodles away. They’re like eating paper anyway. I’m really paying for the seasoning. I get a five-pack of noodles at the dollar store across the street for one dollar. I consider this a bargain. The seasoning makes the meal. I call my creation Spartan Soup. Of course, I change-up sometimes and eat something else; but my Spartan Soup has become the staple of my diet.
Pamela Anderson will bare it all for Playboy Magazine’s final nude print issue. She’s 48. Good for her. And this will be her 14th cover for Playboy, more than any other Playmate. Although Playboy will no longer carry nude women in its print issues, it will carry nude women in its online issues. Why has Hue Hefner decided not to carry nude women in Playboy’s print issues? He says nude women are no longer cutting edge in print magazines. And who am I to argue with Hue Hefner?…You can find all the nude women you want in the Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette. I will not apologize for liking women’s bodies. Why…that would be un-American…
This is Guy Hogan reporting for Pittsburgh’s only magazine of commentaries, culture, short stories and topless women.
Today there will be a mix of clouds and sunshine in The ‘Burgh with a high around 47.
Hail to Pitt!