Karaoke at Nico’s in Little Italy last Saturday night once again allowed me to put into practice my theory of karaoke as performance art. I’ve stated many times in the pages of the Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette that most karaoke singers do not know the lyrics well enough so they can ignore the monitor and focus their energy on the audience; but the most telling thing that even karaoke singers with good voices do that makes them sound like good singers singing karaoke is they over sing the music. They do not modulate their voices so that their voices fit in with the music. If you want to sound like the record, you must modulate your voice so that it’s just another instrument in the song. You must sing with the music, not against the music. Your voice should never dominate the music even when the music reaches a crescendo. Which means you must listen as you sing, listen for the balance between your voice and the music.
This is the true secret of karaoke as performance art. I’m really amazed that more karaoke singers have not figured out this simple truth. But then few karaoke singers take karaoke as seriously as I do. And I get that.
And that’s why I usually stand out at karaoke. Oh, well, too bad I can’t make money at karaoke; and no I’m not going to audition for some show. My home neighborhoods are Oakland (home of the University of Pittsburgh) and Bloomfield (Little Italy). I’m a senior citizen. I’m stuck in my ways.
Hail to Pitt!
Hello, all you rock ‘n’ rollers! The Old Soldier made a run to Armand’s in Little Italy earlier today (I first stopped at the supermarket in Little Italy and there was this woman–she was maybe in her mid thirties–in one of the aisles who was wearing a pair of black yoga pants so tight they looked like tights and she had the butt for them, too. Mama mia!). So, now I’m back in my humble apartment and I’m going to assume my favorite position (flat on my back on the sofa with two fat pillows under my weary head) and I’m going to drink beer and listen to Pirates baseball on the radio (it’s an afternoon game) and at the same time watch porn on my computer and think deep thoughts about life and writing.
I think I’ll publish Heather Kinnane’s new erotic flash fiction story this weekend. No karaoke Saturday night; but I plan on being at karaoke at Nico’s the first Saturday night in October.
This is Guy Hogan reporting for the Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette, a blog of commentary, culture and erotica.