What lousy weather we’re having this morning in Pittsburgh, overcast and rainy with a high of only 65. What happened to summer?
But the show must go on.
Hello, hello, hello, all you rock ‘n’ rollers all over the world! Guy Hogan is my name and flash fiction is my game.
How’s everyone doing?
Want to know some juicy gossip? I’ll take that as a yes. The Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette has finally been banned from Facebook. I guess I showed two titties and their nipples too many. It took them long enough. A couple of years maybe. Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Someone finally complained and I got the boot. But don’t you cry for me Argentina. Facebook is way too vanilla for me anyway. Tumblr and Twitter are now my go to outlets for promoting my little girlie magazine. I can show as much of the female body as I like. My guiding stars are Hue Hefner and Andy Warhol.
It’s karaoke at Nico’s in Little Italy tonight! I can’t wait. Karaoke is the highlight of my week. I get a chance to do something in public that I’m very good at. I mimic Jim Morrison’s stage mannerisms and I can mimic the voices of Eric Burdon and Jim Morrison. I don’t look at the big-screen TV monitor which faces the audience, but I keep my back to the monitor and face the audience. Because I already have the lyrics memorized. It must seem kind of Orwellian to the audience for me to be facing them as the words appear behind me on the big screen in time to my voice. The monitor sits on a stand that is shoulder high and the screen is huge, the size of a home movie theater screen. And I dress the part: a clean shave and a shaved head, dressed all in black with a black bandana around my bald dome and turquoise love beads around my neck. Often times (not always but often) the audience is stunned. They’ve never seen or heard anything like it before at karaoke. Women come up and talk to me. They ask me to dance or they buy me drinks. One time a woman asked (she was having her bachelorette party at Nico’s) if she could kiss my bald head. The answer was yes. People, I am not making any of this up. Now do you understand why I take karaoke so seriously? Why I practice at home until I get it right?
I see that I’m bragging. So, maybe it’s time to end this post. But if it’s true is it still bragging?
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This is Guy Hogan reporting for the Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette.
Hail to Pitt!