One way I try to pay for the $150.00 every year I put into this blog (for domain name, backup and hosting) is by having the Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette as a part of the Mr. Skin/Naked News affiliate advertising network which means Mr. Skin/Naked News sends me videos that are showcased on my little girlie magazine and if anyone subscribes to Mr. Skin/Naked News through The Gazette I get 60% of the take…You may wonder why I get 60% of the take and the answer is if the subscriber goes directly to Mr. Skin/Naked News to take out a subscription he or she is still going to pay the same price but Mr. Skin/Naked News gives me 60% of the take when The Gazette sends them a subscriber because the Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette reaches a demographic that Mr. Skin/Naked News does not reach and that’s the name of that tune…
I want to state this for the record right here and right now that although I have adapted a confessional style of writing for blogging that’s been very much influenced by the confessional style of autobiographical writing of Jack Kerouac and Charles Bukowski where both authors seemed to have just transcribed what happened to them in real life into fiction only changing the names of the guilty and then called it fiction and I’m sure with several embellishments I still do not tell you everything although everything I tell you when it comes to pure blogging is true unless it is obviously meant to be read as fiction but the following actually happened this month I was in Armand’s in Little Italy sipping on a big mug of beer and watching the activity on Liberty Avenue under a gray sky and I saw one of the regulars crossing the avenue on his way to the bar and when he came in we said our usual hellos and we talked and it was like early afternoon which was unusual for both of us because we usually got to Armand’s a little after it opened around 10:30 a.m. and I was late because of blogging from the public library like I’m doing right now and he told me he was late because he had been at the Veterans Hospital breathing into tubes. We are both Vietnam War veterans.
“Breathing into tubes? Why were you breathing into tubes?”
“This lung cancer.”
“Oh.” Of course I knew about his lung cancer. “Did you get the results?”
“Yeah I got the results but the doctor didn’t give me a definite answer about the results. Let me set you up for another one.”
He always sets me up became his VA pension is much greater than my VA pension and he knows it but still I did not like the doctor not giving him a definite answer about his results.
Then a woman he and I both knew came in and she sat between us but she was really with him and I ignored them and sipped from the big mug he had bought me and I watched Liberty Avenue on an afternoon in December in Pittsburgh as he and she talked and finally he left and when he left she and I began to talk with there being a few other people in the bar but she and I were obviously the oldest people in the bar and I had missed my bus so I told her I was going to finish my beer and walk home and our conversation was very friendly but I really only saw her every blue moon…
Then two other women came in who were not as old as she and I were but they were not young women either and the more assertive woman immediately started in on my friend…
I went to the bathroom and came back and sipped the last of my beer and put on my coat and all the time the assertive woman who was on my left but because of the bend of the bar at that end of the bar she was facing me and my friend who was on my right and the assertive woman was constantly talking to my friend the way I imaged a dealer talks to a customer who has misused her credit and eventually my friend became quiet and contrite…
I hugged her and said goodbye and she kissed me on the cheek and I returned her kiss and I walked out of the bar thanking my lucky stars I did not have people like the assertive woman in my life and realizing that I would never tolerate having a person like the assertive woman in my life…I didn’t have to…I was only a beer drinker…Or manybe my friend owed the assertive woman money on a personal loan but that was no way to talk to someone…
It was 10:15 a.m. and both men were Vietnam War veterans. They stood at the bar in Little Italy at Armand’s. They were the only customers in the bar. One had a big mug of beer in front of him and the other had a shot and a beer chaser in front of him.
The man of the big mug was saying, “Remember when I told you I fell on the ice one night on my way home and knocked myself out and an ambulance, the EMS took me to the hospital?”
“I recently got the bill. Four thousand dollars.”
“Four thousand dollars?”
“Medicare paid for three thousand, but they sent me a bill for one thousand because I talked to a doctor for ten minutes. I have to see if the VA will cover that one thousand. I have full medical coverage at the VA. But if the VA doesn’t cover it what the hell am I going to do? I can’t pay one thousand dollars.”
“The hospital doesn’t care who pays the bill. Ask for charity.”
“Sure. Ask for charity. Lots of organizations contribute to a hospital’s charity fund. That’s what it’s there for. Don’t be bashful. Listen to what I’m telling you. Ask for it. I’ve used charity. As long as they keep treating me for my lung cancer everything’s free from the VA and Medicare and charity, but the minute they stop treating me they’ll cut me off.”
“Sure. Not all of them but you get better and they cut you off. Ask for charity.”
I have been blessed to have lived for as long as I have lived and to have seen what I have seen and to have experience the good and bad of what I have experienced. Now this late in my life my goal is to turn my life into art so that I can die blissfully as a writer.
Yes my friends if you consider yourself a writer you have a one per cent chance of making a living as a writer and if that discourages you, you were never a writer in the first place but that is not to say you can’t make some money at writing, it’s just to say you will probably not be one of the one per cent who will make a living at writing and so the thing to do if you are really a writer is to get a real job that will pay the bills and if you finally get a job that you actually like going to day after day and you keep writing and working at your craft as a writer and getting published here and there and making a little money here and there you will have the best of two worlds and that makes you a very lucky person.
Everything is material.
When eating pussy don’t forget the little woman in the boat.
You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl we couldn’t get much high
I would have been a great writer but the chairs in the library were too hard.
Two Baby Boomer Men Drinking At The Bar In Armand’s (Ode To Pussy)
They were the only customers in the bar. It was 10:15 a.m.
First I sucked on her titties.
Then I sucked on her clit.
Then I finger fucked the hell out of her pussy until it was dripping wet.
Then I fucked the hell out of that pussy and pulled out and kept finger fucking that pussy while I fucked her mouth.
Then I came in her mouth and she swallowed every damn drop of it.
She was fifty-two years old, divorced with two grown children. She said her orgasm must have lasted eight seconds. She said she thought the top of her head was going to come off. She was something else. Have you every fucked a woman’s pussy like that?
I have a bus to catch.
I still have to find out if Sonny’s Tavern will be open New Year’s Night which is the first Sunday night in January for karaoke.
The worst thing about crazy people is they don’t know they’re crazy. I know I’m crazy so I guess that means I’m all right.
I love listening to the local 24/7 all sports call-in talk radio show because listening to the hosts and the callers reminds me of the old argument from the Middle-Ages about how many angels could dance on the head of a pin.
Hail to Pitt!
This is Guy Hogan reporting from the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh in Oakland for the Pittsburgh Flash Fiction Gazette. All photos used for this blog post were sampled from Egotastic All Stars. I may be away from the computer for a couple of days but don’t worry I shall return.